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1. If your doctor said you were pregnant, what would you do?
Wonder how the hell that happened, because I'm bleeding like there's no tomorrow right now. Then I'd be in really deep shit...because the would-be-father already has one child and has sworn me off as evil and untrustworthy for absolutely know reason (read: commitmentaphobe)
2. Do you trust all of your friends?
I trust my oldest horse, Percy...beyond that, humans are always to be questioned.
3. Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
I am more or less a modern day gypsy...so probably.
4. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
If you're asking if I believe in fate: no.
5. Name two things you would NOT tolerate in a relationship.
physical abuse and infidelity
6. Which one of your friends do you think would make the best doctor?
Maybe you, Brit...you're kinda philanthropic and all that jazz.
7. When was the last time you snuck out?
Um...probably from my dorm, Junior year in high school.
8. Are you afraid of falling in love?
Of the act of falling in love, no...of being vulnerable and subsequently being hurt, yes.
9. Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times?
Yes, and it's inconvenient. *tilts head and palms one side*
10. Would you stop talking to your friends because you hooked up with a new person?
No way. Chicks before dicks!
11. When was the last time you flew in a plane?
10 days ago...tomorrow I get on a plane to Atl from Venice...11 hrs!
12. What did the last text message you sent say?
Really, I have no idea.
13. What features do you find most attractive in the opposite sex?
Sense of humor, eyes, musical ability (this one only applies to one person)
14. Fill in the blank. I like ________.
Gelato
15. What are your goals in life?
Are we being realistic here? Honestly, live without regrets, to the fullest extent, and enjoy myself thoroughly. Hopefully, win Rolex, make the Olympic Team, win a gold medal, AND win the KY derby...or Preakness, or Belmont, or all three!
16. You and your ex are:
I wouldn't mind never speaking to him again, though I do wish the best for him...no hard feelings just no compulsion to be in contact.
17. When you get married, how would you envision your dream wedding?
Small...tres petite...horses would probably be involved.
18. If you could say just one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
"Kick on!"
19. If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended
period of time, name some people you would call?
Terp, Rachael, Brent, Jimmy, Cirlene, Carly, Meg, Nathalie, Ralph
20. How many kids do you want to have?
one at the most...and only at the urging of a spouse
21. Would you make a good parent?
I wrote the book on all the trouble the kid could get into, so probably.
22. Where is your default picture taken?
Kentucky Horse Park
23. What is your middle name?
Marie
24. Honestly, does your crush like you back?
In his words, he loves me back...but it's never that simple
25. Honestly, how much do you like your crush?
I do love him, in fact...crazy as it may be
27. Honestly, what's on your mind right now??
Going back home and riding...and the plane ride that must insue...and the drama that is waiting.
28. Are you musical?
Surprisingly, I've done quite a bit of piano playing lately...as soon as I get back to FL, I'm getting a guitar and learning to play.
29. If you could go back in time and change something, what would you change?
I wouldn't...no regrets to this point.
30. Shoe size:
9 1/2
31. What are you wearing right now:
Very cute Tommy Jeans that I bought BRAND NEW for $4 at Salvation army the day before I left NY...and a 'Catalunya' T-shirt that I bought in Barcelona.
32. Righty or lefty:
Righty
33. Can you make a dollar in change right now:
Yes...I have a 1E coin in my pocket if that's what you mean.
34. Best place to go for a date:
Picnic...the ex still takes that cake for that one.
35. Favorite jeans:
Unfortunately, the Ultra Low Rise Flare's that Gap no longer makes that have a HUGE hole in crotch...patched, but still not quite like they were. :(
37. Favorite animal:
Cabbieto...(foal)
38. Favorite month:
October...cooler weather, b-day, and halloween
39. Favorite juice:
Mango or Guava
40. Have you had the chicken pox?:
So they tell me.
41. Have you had a sore throat?:
Most certainly...though not as of late *knocks on wood*
42. Have you had plastic surgery?:
Nope, and don't plan on it.
43. Who knows you the best?
Only me...followed by Terp.
45. Do you get along with your family?:
We're as distant as they come...maybe see each other a couple of times a year.
44. Do you wear contact lenses or glasses?
contact lenses :(
46. Ever get in fights with your pet?:
Lol...my horses and I fight every now and again...no pretty, I promise
47. Been to Mexico?:
Cerveza en Mexico...que?
48. Did you talk to someone you like today?:
Not really
49. Did you buy something today?:
Finished up my gift buying in Venice...olive oil and vinegar for Jimmy and Susan and a Murano horse head for myself...and a little ring to replace my ugly old one.
50. Did you get sick today?
Nope
51. Did you talk to an ex today?:
Unfortunately
52. Did you miss someone today?:
Badly...damnit I hope he misses me too.
53. Did you get in a fight with someone today?:
Yes
55. Last bed you slept in that wasn't yours and when?:
The hotel bed I'm sitting in right now.
56. Last person to see you cry and when?
That's a hard one...oh, no, wait...Brent's mom
57. Who made you cry?:
Brent
58. What was the last TV show you watched?:
Some nature show about Kanga's in Italian.
60. What are your plans for the weekend?
Flying back to the states. |
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Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work?:
In the age of iPods, I really don't think I ever have...blowing is always a better option...atleast most of the time.
What's the largest age difference between yourself and someone you've dated:
Brit, there is no such thing as coincidence. Anyway, it is funny that this is the 2nd question because when I mentioned 'blowing' above, just such a topic came to mind. Just recently, there was an incident with a service provider (horse people, infere here). He asked me out, there was a LOT of free sushi, and I do, ladies and gents, have a vice now, in the form of Pomegranate martinis. Or atleast Pomegranate juice...anyway, to answer the question: I really don't know his age but I did some creative calculation and came up with between 25 and 30 years older than I am. FREE SUSHI! That is all I have to say about that.
Ever been in a car wreck?:
I JUST got my truck back after some young girl on a cell phone t-boned me when she jumped a red light.
Were you popular in high school?
I was much more popular in Freshman and Sophomore years than I realised at the time. Junior year, I was the girl from Atlanta who caused trouble and thus was popular...but sort of for the wrong reasons. Senior year I breathed, slept, studied horses and it was all horses all the time. I was at a show every weekend, the barn every morning and night. My friends were my trainers and the other girls in the program and that was that.
Have you ever been on a blind date?:
Never...and don't intend to ever go on one. Love may be blind in some cases, but my heart sees in living color.
Are looks important?:
Looks are attractive, icing on the cake, and vaguely determinate of a first date. Personality is important.
Do you have any friends that you've known for 10 years or more?
Um...I don't think so. I might have an acquaintance or two, but no one that I talk to on a regular basis.
By what age would you like to be married?:
Probably before 28, maybe never. *makes old cat woman face/motions*
Does the number of people a person's slept with affect your view of them?
Due to somewhat personal experience, I do my absolute best to not judge people at all based on the number of partners they have had. I do, however, check for clenliness and that sort of thing if the number seems high.
Have you ever made a mistake?
Nothing that I regret enough to do over again should I have the chance. I have learned far too many valuable lessons, even from the worst experiences.
Are you a good tipper?
I usually tip 18% but my favorite waitress recently got something like 60% right before I moved out of town.
What's the most you have spent for a haircut?
Personally, $7 Great Clips
Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?:
lol camp counselors, camp counselors...teachers though, not really. Riding instructor? Does that count? It wasn't so much a crush as the fact that he had such a nice ass.
Have you ever peed in public?
Lol, I live in a horse trailer without a toilet...need I say more?
What song do you want played at your funeral?
Born to Be Wild
Would you tell your parents if you were gay?
Most certainly...I might even convince them I was for shock value, and then reassure them after their respective coronary's.
If you had to pick one person on earth to die, who?
Whoever oversees the Dallas Star horse slaughter plant in Texas.
Beer, wine or hard liquor?
As previously mentioned, Pomgranate martinis with um...Pearl Persephone vodka. I read the name on the bottle, but I am not entirely sure that's it. Typically, I am a hard liquor fan. I like Sapporo and Guinness, Merlot, Chiante, but otherwise vodka and um, more vodka.
Do you walk around the house naked?:
The horse trailer, you mean? Yes, most of the time.
Hair color you like on someone you're dating?
I like dark hair, am not exceptionally fond of close cropped hair reguardless of color, and there is this one blondie that I think is just gorgeous...but only one.
Do you have any special talents?:
I can make my tongue into really weird shapes.
What do you do as soon as you walk in the house?:
Again, horse trailer...usually turn on the light and close the door before the cats attack me.
Do you like horror or comedy?:
Mostly comedy, with psychological thrillers thrown in.
If you weren't straight, what person of the same sex would you do? Good question...no one that I know personally, oh yeah, except Kelly, the waitress who gets tipped really well.
Who is the person you can count on the most?
My ponies will never let me down...my cats are always there for me too, esp Noir Kitty. People are far too fallible.
If you could date any celebrity past or present, who would it be?
"Johnny Depp. I don't care if he lives in France and thinks he is too good for the Hollywood scene, he is sexy." Amen, sista!
What is your favorite sport to watch?:
Equestrian, of course.
Fav non alcholic drink?:
Pomegranate Juice
Have you ever been in love?:
*makes contemplative face* I do believe so, and every fiber of my being wishes that I still were...but I can't say that I am right now.
Do you sing in the shower?:
Not usually...in the car though, all the time.
Have you ever been arrested?:
Lol, no and I am doing my best to avoid it!
Would you ever get plastic surgery?:
Doubtful
Have you ever caught a fish?:
Often...in NY, about 6 mos back, I rented a house on a trout stream. Didn't last too long, but fished often, a lot of catch and release, ate a couple. Used to go up to the TN mountains with my father over thanksgiving when I was a kid, and we'd catch tons of trout for TG dinner.
Off-The-Wall Questions:
Family member you most resemble?
Neither...When I was a baby my dad, when I was a kid, my mom. Now, I look very different from both.
Do you own your own Bible?
Nope, never have.
Do you clean up nice?
You would be really surprised. I have honestly showed up at friends houses and they have asked who I am. Barn to Bam!
Where was the last place you slept besides your home?
My horses stall...long story but my truck broke down, couldn't leave show to go home/to hotel so the stall it was.
What are you listening to right now?
Wind outside
Have you ever started an uncontrollable fire?
lol maybe in someones pants
Ever run out of gas on the road?
Fortunately, no. I really need to be more careful, though, as I think I have been lucky not to.
What would you rather do, rake the leaves, or mow the lawn?
Rake leaves...piles to jump in , DUH!
Last time you swam in a pool?
It has been a rather long time...I really can't remember the last time!
Have you ever been in a school play?
Many many
How many kids do you want?
probably none, maybe one
Type of music you dislike most?
Rap
Are you registered to vote?
I am not...for shame, I know
Do you have cable?
I don't even have a TV
Ever prank call anybody?
When I was a kid, not these days
Do you have a garden?
I have a catnip plant a few flowers growing near my horse trailer that I tend to.
Bath or Shower?
Shower...no tub.
Orange Juice or apple juice?
Pomegranate Orange...I know I have a problem
Chocolate Bar?
Caramello!
Ever order anything from an infomercial?
A what?
Sprite or 7-Up?
Sprite Zero
Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work/school?
I went to boarding school most of my secondary education and wore some variation of uniform throughout...nothing quite as bad as GPS though. I have to wear scrubs at work if I don't want to be bloody and I have to wear boots and breeches at my other "real" jobs (riding horses).
Believe in love at first sight?
Def. not
Who was the last person you visited in a hospital?
I really dont like hospitals and don't believe I have ever visited anyone.
What do you think about most?
my horses, my future, and my horse future
If you could have one magical power what would it be?
E.S.P
SOME STRANGE QUESTIONS: like the rest haven't been
The sexiest item of clothing you own:
I just bought the cutest Undies/Tank Top set that is mostly black lace with ivory accents. Adorable. The Tank is cute enough for jeans, see through below the bra line, and the undies are boy cut.
Is your hair long enough to chew on:
It is, but that's not my style.
Ever have Dippin' Dots?
Dippin Dots remind of the once-a-summer outings I used to take to White Water in Atl.
Ever play an instrument?
piano
Ever been to a palm reader?
Nope
Did you have a good weekend?
It's saturday and I want to be out, but it's not to be. My pony won at the show today and the other beast I was riding placed well, but still another day of weekend left.
How is today going for you?
See above
Any plans for tonight?
see above
Ever photograph something that was dead?
Um...I don't think so, but don't quote me on that. Probably inadvertantly.
Are you ready for the holiday season?
What? When?
Ever given someone a full-body oil massage?
Unfortunately
That's a wrap. |
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Apr. 14th, 2006 @ 12:37 pm
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WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF:
I died:
I said I liked you:
I kissed you:
I lived next door to you:
I started smoking:
I stole something:
I was hospitalized:
I ran away from home:
I asked you to sleep with me:
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:
Personality:
Eyes:
Face:
Hair:
Clothes:
ABOUT YOU:
Who are you?
Are we friends?
When and how did we meet?
What do you think of me?
What's the fondest memory you have of me?
How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
Do you love me?
Have I ever hurt you?
Would you hug me?
Would you kiss me?
Are we close?
On a scale of 1-10, how attractive am I?
Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
How long have you known me?
Describe me in one word.
What was your first impression?
Do you still think that way about me now?
What do you think my weakness is?
Do you think I'll get married (if yes to who)?
What reminds you of me?
What's something you would change about me?
How well do you know me?
Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
If so tell me now?
Do you think I would kill someone?
Are you going to put this on your LJ and see what I say about you?
DO IT!!!
[x] Best memory of you and me.
[x] Favourite thing about me.
[x] What's the best thing you've ever done with me.
[x] What's my best quality.
[x] What's my worst quality.
[x] Describe me in as many adjectives as you want.
[x] If you could set me up with someone who would it be.
[x] Name one band i like.
[x] Name one thing i wear.
[x] Name one thing i love.
[x] Name one thing you think i should have.
[x] Say one fact about me.
[x] Write your honest opinion of me.
[x] Post this on your journal.Current Mood:  chipper Current Music: Halo soundtrack that alex is playing |
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Q. Elaborate on your default icon.
It is a picture I took (equine photographer here) of one of my closer friends, Nathalie Bouckaert, riding her English TB Westfarthing @ KY Classic ** last fall. He's a **** horse, so it really was sort of a joke, but whatever. I guess everyone has to practice somewhere. As for the quote "extend your horizons", Westfarthing always reminds me to take a chance because that's what Nat did when she took him as a ride. See how it worked out for her, huh?
Q. What's your current relationship status?
I have been a relationship with Alexander The Great for coming 4 yrs in August. Right now, we're on the outs...pssttt I think he might be preggers! He's been so moody this week!
Q. What exactly are you wearing right now?
Tan stained breeches, muddy black riding boots(knee high, add spurs), a dirty black hoody that has 'eventer' embrodered in the back, a light blue polo with collar, blue and gray dryarn socks, a gold ring, a silver ring with hyrogliphs, a timex, a hair band
Q. What is your current problem?
Alex is being a douche and I'm broke ass poor and don't have a highly competitive horse right now.
Q. What do you love most?
riding, alex, freedom
Q. What makes you most happy?
galloping XC
Q. If you could go back in time, and change something, what would it be?
I would have fucked ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) killitallaway when I had the chance
Q. If you MUST be an animal for ONE day, what would it be?
horse...permanantly, damn my horses have it great
Q. Ever have a near death experience?
Most recently, I was innocently jumping through the smallish (3'6ish) triple that was set to be a 1 to a 1. I was working on collection O/F and my horse was finding 2 to 2 easy. On the 3rd of 4th 2 to 2 attempt, he thought he'd be smart and put in 3 in the second, which had a roll top under it. He crashed he front end into the roll top and promptly flipped hooves over tail. As a flipped with him I sort of got lodged into the hollow under the roll top and managed to avoid his hooves and the rest of him crashing down on my head.
Q. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
Last Beautiful Girl-MB20
Q. Who will cut and paste this first?
Rhian possibly.
Q. Name someone with the same b-day as you:
Rachel Smith's first real boyfriend Blake, and his best friend Reid.
Q. Have you ever vandalized someone's private property?
Oh yes, several times. Before the most recent election, a group of friends and I went around spray painting "Fight War/Not Wars/Drop Bush/Not Bombs" on any viable surface.
Q. Have you ever been in a fight?
Quite a few. Most recently with my mother...yes a fist fight.
Q. Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
Unfortunately...got the part last time though.
Q. What's the first thing you notice about the OPPOSITE sex?
Eyes, teeth, voice.
Q. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Triple Espresso with Caramel
Q. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?
"That's right, go ahead stab me thousands of times with a group of not-so-tiny ink covered needles!"
Q. Tell a secret about yourself.
I did it, in the car, while driving, with spurs on. No really, I did!
Q. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Not that I can remember.
Q. Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?
Sometimes, but I do have younger sibs.
Q. Did you have braces?
A long time ago, for about 14 months.
Q. Are you comfortable with your height?
I would like to be 2.3" taller.
Q. What is the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you?
On our first date, alex took me on a picnic with food that he had made. Shortly after that, he brought me to his house, took a bubble bath with me, and then gave me a full body massage. It was blissful.
Q. Do you speak any other languages?
French, American Sign Language
Q. What is your favorite smell?
Abercrombie and Fitch 'Woods', horses, hay(alfalfa blend from the KY horse park)
Q. Have you ever been to a tanning salon?
I have been in one, but never been in a tanning bed
Q. What magazines do you read?
Practical Horseman, Dover and SLT and BoB sale mags
Q. Have you ever ridden in a limo?
Yes a few times
Q. Has anyone you were really close with passed away?
A couple of tiems
Q. Do you ever watch MTV?
I don't have TV, so not really, but I really miss Daria...Jane's brother is the only animated character I have ever lusted after...oh yeah, and Alucard
Q. What's the latest you have ever stayed up?
As I recall, during opening week for a play, with a weekend of a horse show, during finals, I had 4 hours of sleep in 7 days.
Q. Have you ever been rushed into the emergency room?
Nope...should have been several times, but avoided it.Current Mood:  brrr Current Music: Marilyn Manson |
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Comment to this post by telling me your name and I will tell you:
1. My favorite memory of you.
2. A secret I didn't want to divulge to you.
3. The last time I thought about you when you weren't around.
4. Something that always makes me think of you.
Come on, you know you want to, come on now.Current Mood:  ambivilant Current Music: Disease MB20 |
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Kilaughton better put on his running shoes (mud studs might be helpful too, knowning fall weather). The plan goes like this:
Fair Hill 21-23 April P
Plantation Field 13-14 May P (yay, home event!)
Poplar Place 9-11 June P
Midsouth 23-25 June P
Maui Jim 06-09 July CIC*
MAYBE Champagne Run 14-16 July I
River Glen Aug 6 I
Waredaca 19-20 Aug I
Possiblities for **:
Poplar 08-10 September CIC**
Radnor 12-15 October CCI** w
VA 3-Day 03-05 November CCI** w/o
Long story short, just bought a new horse. Stats:
17.1 h ISH G
12 y/o
Drk Bay, jagged blaze and snip, coronet LH
In 200?3?, he was 5th @ Camino Real **. Hasn't done a lot of competing since then, owners daughter wanted to keep him as a pet. However, he's been in FL for 3 months in training. I'm thinking Radnor is out best bet. Right now I train with Bruce, who is reasonably cautious when it comes to competing...by September, I'll be in Ocala with Ralph, who is somewhat less cautious. So we shall see, we shall see.
Mar. 15th, 2006 @ 09:08 pm
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| » Frustrated |
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This was supposed to be a weekend of sex, sushi, and sunshine. But no, things never work out just perfectly do they. Alex became ill on Monday, missed school on Tuesday, and went to the hospital with a fever of 106 on Tuesday night. He missed school again yesterday, and returned to school today, feeling atleast a fair bit better. 70% or so. Apparently these two days made all of the difference in his shooting schedule (fyi he's in school in NY for Photo). Not that he hasn't has these assignments since DECEMBER and knew when they were due since DECEMBER and knew that he was coming down to see me this weekend since DECEMBER. Okay, so you get the gist. I'm sure there are things I don't understand and it is, after all, allegedly my fault that he got sick in the first place. Yet another puzzling thing, however, is upon booking the airline ticket, Alex deemed it acceptable to not return to NY until Tuesday, and that missing class on Monday and Tuesday would be acceptable. I just don't understand. I'm not particularly angry...though maybe just a hint, I am, though, nauseatingly frustrated. I'm lonely down here, very lonely, and not being able to see him is several degrees of depressing. And yet, I don't know why he doesn't understand this. Probably the same reason that I don't understand why he's not coming down. I'm sure it has something to do with being selfish.
Jan. 26th, 2006 @ 02:52 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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( Merry Surveymas! )
Dec. 26th, 2005 @ 08:56 pm
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| » Application |
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Hadn't been "accepted" to a community yet, couldn't save entry though...
Dec. 8th, 2005 @ 03:13 pm
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| » Survey |
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Click here.
Take the quiz.
Post your results.
( See lifedecision's results. )
Oct. 27th, 2005 @ 05:31 pm
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| » This is allegedly boring...be forewarned. |
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10 years ago I was:
• Playing 3rd Base
• Swimming backstroke
• Doing Handsprings over a horse
• Learning long division
• Dreaming of ponies that were perfect in every way
5 years ago I was:
• Playing hard to get
• Swimming in a sea of adolescent uncertainty
• Doing handsprings through fire rings to win in the show ring
• Learning how best to mend a long-divided heart
• Dreaming, in nightmares, of belts, hands, and fists
1 year ago I was:
• Playing the game of political correctness
• Swimming with the flow for the first time in a long time
• Doing handsprings to make the grade in Anatomy
• Learning the best, if long, way to divide and conquer
• Dreaming of diplomas
Yesterday I:
• Played Dr. to one of my accident prone ponies
• Swam between the sheets with my dear Alexander
• Did handsprings to commandeer a cheap, yet firm, mattress
• Learned how to appease the evil cow monster, Blondie the Budweiser Horse
• Dreamt of waking up late for work
5 snacks I enjoy:
• Applesauce (homemade)
• Frozen Custard
• Carrots and Ranch Dressing
• Celery and peanut butter
• Oreo's
5 songs I know all the words to:
• "RX Queen", Deftones
• "Life In The Fast Lane", The Eagles
• "Pour Some Sugar On Me", Def Leppard
• "Message In A Bottle", Incubus (cover)
• "Hands Clean", Alanis Morrisette
5 things I would do with 100 million dollars:
• A nice house
• A stellar nice horse
• A Butet or Devoucoux Saddle
• Pay off my grandparents debt
• Pay off my truck, trailer, and student loans
5 places I would run away to:
• Nelson
• Montreal
• Lille
• Lucerne
• Sinner's stall
5 things I would never wear:
• gold jewelry
• sweatpants
• a red hunt coat
• your underwear
• any of my mothers clothing
5 favorite TV shows:
• Nip/Tuck
• The O.C.
• CNN Headline News
• ER
• Family Guy
5 bad habits:
• looking down
• speeding
• cutting
• not drinking enough water
• eating too many carbs
5 biggest joys:
• riding
• jumping
• winning
• Alex
• galloping
5 fictional characters I would date:
• Jane's brother on Daria
• Matt (Nip/Tuck)
• Dr. Troy (Nip/Tuck)
• Fox Mulder
• Pacey Whitter
5 people I tag to do this:
• Kristin
• Lizzers
• Matt
• Terp
• YOU
REPLY IN A COMMENT
1. One secret.
2. One compliment.
3. One non-compliment.
4. One love note, but it does not have to be for me.
5. Lyrics to a song.
6. How old you are.
7. How long we've been friends.
8. Have you ever desired me.
9. Story of your first kiss.
10. First letter of the first name of the love of your life.
Sep. 21st, 2005 @ 11:00 pm
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| » "Inspiration came at no cost this time. No drug, no cut, no thought...just conversation."~MD |
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"Too Late To Quit"
Takes all my might
To find a hole that feels right
To bury myself
In a deep sleep at night morning
I hear a voice
Coming from the hillside
Says I’ll show you the way
I will show you the lightor maybe that's just the wind
But I’m tiredexhausted
I’m tiredspent
I’m much too tiredmuch too much
I’m tiredtired
He’s says I know where you were headed
And you’re half way therestill have twice as far to go
But you’ve got to be carefuland by 'careful', you mean balls to the wall, right?
You’ve got to beware
Some people want to hurt youor you want to hurt yourself
Some people don’t carewhy should they?
But I’m never gonna give you
Any more than you can barenot any more, all the more
[chorus]
There’s nothing left here to rise aboveexcept the past
We’re not talking bout’ that kind of love
You’ve got people here counting on you
Now’s a good time
To learn how to pull throughaka 'crashcourse'...deal with it
Sometimes a good idea
Just isn’t enough
You’ve got to do the work
Now get your ass upfrom 7am to midnight
There isn’t really such a thing as bad luckexcept when it isn't good luck
Yeah, but once I shot an arrow
In the sky and it stuckwell aren'tspecial
[chorus]
You’ve got to keep movin’
You’ve got to keep pushin’
You’re never gonna get back
Anymore than you’re givin’so what is my all is less than what I get back?
Life is for the livingnope, no exisiting here, only living hardcore
You’ve got to be willin’even if it's killin' ya
A song ain’t a song
Until someone starts singin’
[chorus]
I've got no way to quit, and no where to go home. So this is it. This is life. And you're told, throughout your entire childhood, that when you're "off on your own", you'll know what really "living" is like and be so much wiser, kinder, and richer. Well I'm on my own, if this is living I don't know what I was ever looking forward too and I certainly hope it gets better than this because at this rate I only get around 1500 hrs per year of time that I am not "owned" by another company/person by which I am employeed. That's 18 hours a day, 5 days/week that I am enslaved. It's rough, but it will hopefully pay the bills. I feel like I lose any wiseness I may have previously acquired on a minute-by-minute basis on any given day, I am starting to feel down right venomous on a good day, and *strikes best seductress pose* I make poverty look fuckable. At this point, most of you who know me well would say "Atleast you get laid by a sex god at your every request and have a pair of safe/warm/buff/freckley arms to retreat to at the end of a very long day. And to that I say: I need some questions answered. This is sort of a make it or break it time. August was three years. The relationship is fantastic. We do exactly what the other needs ot have his or her necessities met. The sex is mindblowing. The cuddling is even better *watches mind scatter in little bits that the putty tat likes to bat around*. He cooks, I clean. We give each other space. Our financial strategies mesh very well. And for all the tears, sperm, energy and time that we've put in to this, I can't help but remember the old adage of "all good things must come to an end". I look at my grandparents who've been together fourty-six years with envy and my parents who have each been married more than three times with resentment. For Alex and I, this is somewhat of a "make it or break it" midpoint. I'm here, in NY, due in part to his presence. Not solely, or not even mostly, but it does have something to do with him. I think I have held up my end of the deal. Financially, it would be so much better if we lived together. And that is something I am going to need to ask of him soon. He wants to go home this summer, or has atleast considered it and suggests that I go home as well. Lest he forget I haven't a home to go back to. We've flirted insatiably with the idea of getting married. Looked at rings. Discussed buying houses, named our male child, built an entire state-of-the-art, Bouckaert envying barn. But I need some consecration. Don't be afraid of trusting me, what your mother/family might think, the wild oats you've never sowed, or your own inferiorities. You're not stupid, you're not ugly, you're more than I could have ever hoped to ensnar...er um commit to. We've lived in seperate states for the entirety of our relationship up to this point without any infidelity, aside from the misconstruction of a single lesbian incident, whatsoever. The stablity is there. I'm entire there. Commited with all the heart and soul and superfly body I have to commit...gee sounds sort of mental institutionesque, huh? So use those balls of yours and give something. Or give me away, so far far away.
"I speak in tongues, and mouths and kisses. Love, affection and free spirit. All the things one needs."!~MD aka killitallaway (Yes, I'm the quote stealingest bitch you'll find tonight! Much love, M.)
Sep. 16th, 2005 @ 10:31 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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Party on Garth. The third, and at present untained, most important thing in my life is in what I feel may be dire peril. He went to Buffalo today with his roommate and their friend Julie. They met one of Julie's friend in Buffalo. SHE is, in his words, "...attractive, no wait, VERY attractive". He's going to Toronto in a couple of weekends with roommate, Julie, and this new friend, Sara. And not coming to see me. He and Sara are going beer tasting together. I'm worried. I trust him. But I don't trust her. And her with him with alcohol involved seriously worries me. *freaks out and wonders when this flood will subside*
Apr. 23rd, 2005 @ 10:46 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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She just came to pick up the car. I think she deserves to die. Painfully. Say...hung from meat hooks, dipped in a vat of acid, doused in gasoline, and lit aflame. In picking up the car, she proceeded to tell me how this is all my fault and if I had "made different, more intelligent choices" I wouldn't be in this situation, and if I had been a better kid, a more adept student, more conscientious in my earlier years, I would have gotten the scholarship. In essence, she chose to outline, in her opinion, how my life has been a complete and total fuck up and how I have put her at risk of humilitation. I think the meat hooks might be too good for her.
Apr. 23rd, 2005 @ 01:43 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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At the risk of sounding like just another whiney female, life blows. It really and truely does. This weekend I was supposed to run River Glen. Not only does River Glen sponsor me and have a contract stating I must attend all of their shows or risk losing the sponsorship, but in addition to this, it was one of three chances to get two qualifying results for the upcoming CIC* in Fort Worth. I don't qualify, I don't make the YR's team, and I don't want to fathom what sort of effect that might have on future successes. I'm also losing the entry fee I can't afford to waste...$300 doesn't come cheap around here. After I found out this morning that I was being held against by my boarding school to serve detention all weekend (Fri 7-9, Sat 11-1/2.30-4.30/7-9, Sun 11-1) for being a few minutes late to check in @ 7 on Monday because school was delayed and I got to the barn late (barn being an hr and half drive away because the pony is @ Bouckaert right now), I got the letter of rejection from the last school I had any hope in for any more. And to top if off, my mother just rang to tell me I don't deserve MY car (which I bought) and is coming to take it tomorrow. No, I don't have a terminal illness, Alex (the more-than-boyfriend-less-than-fiance) is okay if a lot depressed, and Sin is still in one piece but turned out right now in the horrible weather because the head-of-house took my keys(at my mothers request) and I can't drive up to bring him in, but life as a whole is far from fun to live right now. For just this moment, FUCK EXISTANCE.
Apr. 22nd, 2005 @ 09:42 pm
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| » Survival of the sexy |
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Well ladies and gents, gypsies and gremlins, colts and fillies, mares and stallions, bitches and butches: I survived Indeed I did. I may have even made a good impression, though it's too soon to tell. And really, it's a bit too early to say I truely did survive, as I may rest my tired little head tonight and never wake up (mercury poisoning, I'd suspect). But for now, I'm still alive and kicking. What did I survive, might you ask? Dinner. Harmless sounding, huh? With Alex! Even better you say? And his mother. Speechless now, aren't you? *sticks tongue out at* And...AND...I found a flower shop opened on Sunday @ 18.15 AND got the flowers and vase for free.
Feb. 28th, 2005 @ 01:49 am
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| » Survey napped from drownmysorrow16 |
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Spell your first name backwards]: nerual or aihr
[The story behind your AIM name]: nmeofauthority...sound the first three letters out if hooked on phonics didn't work for you
[4 words that sum you up]: competitive, driven, rider, tenacious
[Wallet]: duct tape, with stickers, homemade many years ago
[Jewellery worn daily]: alex's heiroglyph ring, my diamond ring, usually some neckless and some pair of earrings and my 8G cartilage plug + navel ring
[Pillow cover]: white with moons and suns in a celtic fashion
[Coffee cup]: cardboard, with holder, and a cherry starbucks message
[Shoes]: Ariat's...mules, maestros, heritage field boots...and chaco's
[CD in stereo right now]: Josh Joplin mix
[Piercing]: ears, navel, cartilage currently
[What you are wearing now]: plaid (navy,hunter, white <3) boxer pants (Alex's), Vail hoodie
[Hair]: tied back in a messy bun
[In my mouth]: tongue, teeth
[In my head]: Alanis Morrisette tune
[After this]: sleeeeeeeeeeep
[Talking to]: Terp
[Eating]: nothing
[Fetishes]: biting, the occasional bondage, publicness when I'm in the mood
[Some of your favourite movies]: Interview with the Vampire, True Romance, Saw, 21 Grams, Possession, GARDEN STATE
[Cartoon Character you are most like]: Jane's brother on Daria
[Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming month]: Seeing Alex, competing, fighting with Michael, making money, finishing my last stupid exams EVER
[The last thing you ate]: don't remember, it was yesterday sometime
[Something that you are deathly afraid of?]: failure
[Do you like candles]: if they're not too sweet smelling
[Do you believe in love]: yes
[Do you believe in soul mates]: no
[Do you believe in forgiveness]: usually...unless circumstances are severe...and even then it's rarely worth the energy to hold a grudge
[If you could have any animal for a pet]: another few racehorses...one is not nearly enough. a couple more spiders...same rule applies, some specifically exotic and poisonous snake...one is yet again, not enough
[What are 3 places you wouldn't mind relocating to?]: Toronto, Nelson, Rochester
[Future Child(s) Name]: Damien
[What are some of your favourite pig out foods?]: Half-Baked B&J's
[What's something you wish you could understand better]: my significant other
[Anyone you miss that you haven't seen in a long time]: drownmysorrow16...I sometimes wonder if we really did ever reconcile things
[In the last 24 hours, have you:]
[Cried:] no
[Gotten sick:] no
[Sang:] unfortunately
[Felt stupid:] no
[Wanted to tell someone you loved them:] yes
[Met someone new:] yes
[Talked to an ex:] yes
[Missed an ex:] no
[Had a serious talk:] no
[Talked to someone you have a crush on:] No
[hugged someone:] how about in a sexual manner?
[Fought with your parents:] yes, per usual
[Dreamed about someone you can't be with:] yes...but I can in a 10 days
[Are you center of attention or the wallflower:] I'm using Weed-B-Gone on the wallflowers
[What type of automobile do you need to drive?:] F250 to haul, S90 to travel
[Would you rather be with friends or on a date:] In bed with Alex
[Do you attend church:] only when forced or to console someone
[Do you like being around people:] rarely...and only a select few at that
[Who have you known the longest:] Rachel
Feb. 16th, 2005 @ 12:45 am
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| » Have fallen in love with a rich man, but it was harder than falling in love with a poor man. |
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Alex, take notes:
Acccording to www.humanforsale.com
You are worth exactly: $2,266,010.00.We hope you can find somebody who is wealthy enough to afford you.
Jan. 14th, 2005 @ 10:42 am
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| » (No Subject) |
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C'est fini. Defi au avoir.
Jan. 10th, 2005 @ 10:26 pm
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| » With little better to do, SURVEY (steal it, NOW) |
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Please date this questionnaire: 7 January 2005
State your name or nickname: Lauren/Rhia
Your age: old enough to understand, young enough to defy
Let’s start, with basic time stuff.
1. What are the typical qualities of your Starsign? most notably, indecision, which is not a plague I happen to be effected with.
2. Do you read your horoscope regularly? occasionally
3. If you do, which ones do you read? nothing specific
4. Which Starsign’s go best with yours, relationship wise? technically, I don't know...but in my opinion, Aries
5. Name song released in the year you were born: With or Without You-U2
6. Did your parents have really awful hairstyles in the eighties (assuming that was the year you were born): BIG hair, bad angles
7. Do you have any brothers or sisters? steps
8. What was your first pet? Candy and QB (Cocker Spanial (STUPID dogs) and stray tabby cat) were both pets when I was born
9. Who was the first singer/group you ever loved? don't recall
10. With who did you spend most of your childhood (besides your family): Meredith
11. Did you have childhood boyfriends or girlfriends? lol yes
12. Which first school did you attend? St. Nicholas
Media
Music.
13. What CD is in your stereo right now: U2 on my mp3 player
14. What song do you have stuck in your head: Love You Madly-U2
15. Can you dance? relatively well
16. What song did you dance last to? Naughty Girl
17. Which song do you most like to dance to? don't have a preference
18. Who was the last person you danced with? some Norweigan named Patrick
19. What stores do you buy your CDs from? I don't typically buy CD's, but if I'm going to, the store is probably going out of business.
20. What was the last CD you purchased? Savage Garden maybe? broke the one I had owned for years, loved it too much and bought it for probably $2.00
21. Do people laugh at your music taste? no
22. If you were a music genre what would you be? rock
23. Who are your favourite groups and singers? U2, Metallica, Cake, Def Leppard, Ani Difranco, Jennifer Nettles, Incubus, Fuel and the list goes on and on
24. What are your favourite songs? Love You Madly, Drive, Warning, Love is A Verb, Pour Some Sugar on Me, 32 Flavours, Story of These Bones, Falls on Me, etc and so on
25. What song or singer/group get you emotional? depends on my mood, but most notable "Times Like These"
26. Who inspire you musically? Ani, Brandon, Jennifer, Lars
27. If you could take a song and play it in a movie, what song and what movie would that be? Hemorrhage-21 Grams
28. If you were in a band (if you aren’t) what would you be called? Dysharmony
29. What kind of music would you play? bass guitar
Movies.
30. What was the first movie you ever remember watching? American Werewolf
31. What were your favourites as a child? Bambi, Charlotte's Web
32. What was the last one you watched? The Sweetest Thing
33. What are your favourites now? 21 Grams, Saw, Garden State
34. Are there any movie genres you refuse to watch? I'll try most things that aren't outright stupid
35. Which ones get you the most emotional? I never cry in movies or anything like that
TV.
36. Do you watch much TV? nah
37. What do you watch most? Fear Factor, Nip/Tuck, The OC (yes, I'm a poser, see me pose)
38. What are your favourite TV shows, and why? see above, because I can actually stand to watch them and laugh
Sexual preferences etc
39. Are you attracted to the opposite or same sex? opposite
40. What attracts you most about the opposite (or same) sex? eyes, sense of humor
41a. Do you have a bf or gf? bf
41b. Do you have crushes? Brandon Boyd, but he doesn't count
(a) If so – who? Alex
(b) What do you like about them? his eyes, his sense of humor, his touch, his smile, his unconditional love and the way he loves me
(c) Are you attracted more to their personality or their looks? personality, but damn he's fine nonetheless
43. Who was the last person you lusted after? Zack
44. Do you tell people whom you like? yes
45. Are you the type of person to tell your crush that you like them? yes
46. List all the people you have a crush on: none
47. What has been your most embarrassing crush? on the kid in 5th grade or so. Name was Bryant, and we seems to always have the same thing (backpack, tennies, notebooks, etc)...and there was the guy I was crushing on when my mother started dating his father, and then we ended up on the beach and he ASKED to kiss me and I refused him
48. If you could sleep with any celebrity, who would it be? Brandon Boyd
49. How often do you feel horny? atleast once/day
50. How do you like kissing? there is alot to be said for sensuality, but also something to be said for needy sexual kissing
51. Which term do you prefer to use (shag, have sex, sleep with, fuck, make love): depends on the situation, but I'm adverse to the use of fucking
52. Have you ever been heartbroken? yes
53. If so – by who? long story
54. Have you ever kissed a friend? yes
55. What turns you on? kissing my neck, ears, etc
56. What turns you off? bad accents, acne
57. Given the choice, if you could sleep with any five people (obviously at different times) who would you sleep with? Alex, Brandon Boyd, Zack, Heath Ledger, Chad Michael Murray
58. How often do you feel romantic? atleast once a day
59. In what ways are you affectionate? playing with his hair, kissing his jawline, writing him letters, etc
60. Are you a flirt? yes, uncontrollably
61. How do you like your guys or girls (personality): funny, honest
62. The same as above but looks: eyes, hair, good body
63. If you had to sleep with any person of the same sex, whom would you sleep with? Terp
64. Do you have any weird fantasies you haven’t carried out yet? it's a long story that involves a glass elevator, and alternatively, ice and candle wax
65. When did you last have sex? last Wednesday
66. The last person who asked you out? Alabama, over Xmas
67. The last person who complimented you sexually: Alex
68. What do you sleep in? depends on where I am...Alex's rugby jersey, boxers or boxerpants, or nothing
69. Your favourite piece of sexy underwear you own? boy cut lace
Friendships
70. Do you have a best friend? yes
71. Which friends do you most enjoy spending time with? Alex, Terp, Kate
72. Name all your friends: too many to do so
73. Who is –
(a) The most intelligent? Swapna
(b) The most dumb? Donna
(c) The prettiest? Emily
(d) The most considerate? Alex
(e) The kindest? Kristen
(f) The funniest? Alex
(g) Eats the weirdest food? Walid
(h) Has the coolest dress sense? Terp
(i) Has the best hair? Meg
(j) Has the best figure? Jake
(k) Has the best eyes? Alex
(l) The happiest? Lauren
(m) The most miserable? Michelle
(n) The most outgoing? Terp
(o) The most talkative? Michelle
(p) Is the sexiest? Alex
(q) The last friend you emailed? Terp
(r) The last friend you text? Alex
(s) The last friend you spoke to on the phone? Carly
(t) The last friend you saw in person? Kristin
(u) (Laughs) The friend you would most like to sleep with? Zach
(v) The friend you have had sexual contact with in the past? Alex
(w) The friend who compliments you most? Alex
(x) The friends you have lunch with? Alex
(y) The friends who like the same music as you? Alex
(z) The friends you argue with most? Michelle
Appearances
74. What part of your appearance do you spend the most amount of time perfecting? nails
75. List, in order, the colours your hair has been: lol naturally brown, black, blue, green, blonde, red, purple
76. Which celebrity do you envy most for their looks? don't particularly
77. What part of your appearance are you most vein about? hair
78. What is your body shape? a good one
79. Your hair colour? dark brown
80. Your eye colour? hazel or brown depending on who you ask
81. How much does beauty mean to you? exterior beauty, not much
82. Do you have a strict beauty regime? no
83. What make up do you use? occasionally
84. What part of your appearance gets complimented most? body
85. What do you take care of most? body
86. How long is your hair? mid back
87. How often do you wash it? usually every day
88. What colour do you wear most? dark colors with nice contrasting colors
89. Explain:
90. What kind of jewellery do you wear? the type that has meaning
91. Whose sense of style do you most admire? Margarate
92. How do you dress? classically
93. How often do you brush your teeth? atleast twice per day
Your surroundings
94. Where do you live? Rome, GA for the moment
95. Do you live in a house/bungalow/flat/somewhere random? dorm
96. Do you live on a road/street/or in a close? near a st
97. Is your house (if it is a house) part of an estate? n/a
98. What kind of house is it? n/a
99. When was it built? 1988
100. Has it ever had an extension? no
101. How long have you lived there? since August
102. How many bedrooms does it have? 24
103. Who has the biggest bedroom? everyone with a single room
104. What does your house consist of (rooms wise): an apartment on each end of each floor, 12 rooms per floor, a laundry room, two lounges, a foyer, an office, and four bathrooms
105. What colour is –
(a) your bedroom: concrete blocks painted white
(b) your parent’s bedroom: n/a
(c) your siblings bedroom: n/a
(d) any spare bedrooms: n/a
(e) the bathroom: white painted cinder blocks
(f) the lounge: white painted cinder blocks
(g) the kitchen: see above
(h) any additional rooms: see above
106. Your bedroom –
(a) Describe the layout, or insert a picture (one can be made on Microsoft paint etc): ribbons, pictures, posters, a desk, a book shelf, a closet on either side, a huge bed, and a cork board
(b) What posters do you have on the walls: signed posters of event stars, set lists, band posters, etc.
(c) What kind of style were you trying to create when decorating: individuality
(d) When did you last decorate it: I change things periodically
(e) Who did it: me
(f) Do you have wallpaper or paint? paint
Creativity Imagination
107. In what ways are you creative? writer, painter
108. Have you ever written a poem? lots
109. A book? working on a couple
110. A Song? yes
111. What were your favourite subjects at school? science, english
112. Are you good at Art? yes
113. Do you draw? yes
114. If so – what do you draw? realism pieces
115. Describe one of your drawings: woman sitting on an ornate table, chained to it, with a veiled face, tattoos, and scant clothing
116. How big is your imagination, on a scale of 1-10? 10
117. Did you have imaginary friends when you were little? no
118. Would you say you were a daydreamer? yes, but I follow through
119. What are you good at? fencing, riding, writing
120. What are you bad at? sports that involve team participation
Jan. 7th, 2005 @ 02:06 pm
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